Movie Review: Ready

I wasn't even planning on watching this movie for a few reasons. The biggest reason is the director: Anees Bazmee. After I wasted my money watching his disaster 'No Problem' last year, which is easily one of the worst movies I have seen in the last 15 years. I also skipped the universally panned 'Thank You' earlier this year.

Asin and Salman in another nonsense scene

The second reason is Salman Khan. When will he learn how to act instead of posing in front of the camera? In all of his latest movies it seems like I am watching an episode of 'The Salman Khan Show'. He will rip his shirt off. He will dance in foreign locations with girls who look like his grand-daughters (Asin, Zarine Khan). And he will fumble his way through horrible dialogues in the same monotone stance he seems to be so comfortable with.

I used to love him in the early days. His debut in 1989's 'Maine Pyar Kiya' right up to 1999's 'Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam'. After that he really lost his magic. I suppose the break-up really affected him.

Nevertheless I was willing to give the movie a chance. But how is it possible when the star doesn't know what the act in acting means and the mastermind doesn't know what the direct in director means.

The only saving grace, bar a couple of cheap jokes was of course the UBD Asin. She came back after a flop (again with Salman, 'London Dreams' in 2009), despite making a huge debut with 'Ghajini' the previous year.

Asin played her comic role very well and looked stunning, but she became one of the extras in the second half taking a back seat while 'Sallu-bhai' as he is lovingly known continues to run the show.

The flaws of the film lie in the screenplay and story - both of which are wafer thin and confusing to say the least. Next there are far too many characters, none of which are well defined. The 'humour' was almost non-existant: cut to the house maid speaking in broken English for a few 'laughs': terrible.

I thought there sorts of crap movies were left in the mid-90s, but no. Throw in a few guest appearances (Ajay Devgan, Sanjay Dutt, Kangana Ranaut, Zarine Khan), some hot songs, some foreign locales and some cheap jokes, backed with a ton of promotion and bang you have a hit on your hands.

Finally, please someone show Zarine Khan to the nearest gym. She looked awful. No style, no grace, no adah. Uff!